Choosing a Harness

Harnesses can be used by anyone of any gender who would like to strap on a dildo.  The reasons someone might want to wear a dildo are many-- dildos can be used to penetrate a partner either anally or vaginally.  They can be used for various kinds of gender play. And for folks who would like to be able to go all night long without worrying about maintaining an erection the whole time, or who would like to use a different-sized tool than what they were endowed with (bigger or smaller), a dildo can add more variety to your arsenal.

In order to enjoy strap on sex to the fullest, it is best to have a stable and comfortable harness.

Features to consider when buying a harness include:

  • Fit (waist/hip size range)

  • Leg strap style—2 strap (jock style) or 1-strap (G-style)

  • O-ring size (the opening that the dildo shaft fits through)

  • Fastener/adjuster style (buckles, D-rings, velcro)

  • Toy(s) you will be using with the harness

  • Harness material (leather, vinyl, rubber, nylon, etc.)


When choosing a harness, it is important to find one that fits your body. Check the waist size range of the harnesses you are considering, as well as the adjustability of leg straps. If you are in doubt, ask questions!


Depending on your body type or personal preference, either leg strap style may offer you more stability or comfort. 2-strap style harnesses (with two straps going around the legs/butt like a jock strap) tend to work better with dildos with balls at the base, and they usually offer additional adjustability, as well as accessibility to the wearer's orifices if they want to be penetrated while wearing the harness.

1-strap style harnesses (with a single strap running directly between the legs) can be used to help hold in a butt plug during strap-on play, but they do block access to the wearer's orifices.  If you are unsure which style is right for you, consider a convertible harness like the Aslan Commando, that can be changed from 1-strap to 2-strap style.


If you plan to use a variety of toys with your harness, you'll probably want a harness that allows you to change the size of the O-ring that holds the base of the dildo. Some harnesses allow for quick O-ring change by simply unsnapping small straps, while others have an O-ring sewn or bolted in so that it cannot be changed. If you do choose a model with a permanently sewn-in O-ring, be sure that is fits your dildo(s) appropriately.


Harnesses come with different ways to adjust the waist and leg straps.  Some have buckles, which may take longer to fasten, but tend to stay put. D-rings are adjusted by sliding the straps through the ring, and can be re-adjusted by a quick tug during play if they loosen a bit. Some harnesses come with velcro adjusters, which are soft, easy to use, and stay put, but can become worn over years of use.


Consider the size and style of the toys you will be using with your harness.  If the dildo has balls, you’ll want to ensure that the harness will accommodate them comfortably.  If you plan to use different sized toys with your harness, choose a harness that allows you to change the size of the O-ring or has an O-ring that stretches.  If you want to wear a double dildo with the harness (such as the Feeldoe, the Vixen Nexus, or the Share), choose a harness that will accommodate the toy.


Finally, it is important to choose a design and material that feels comfortable on your body. We offer leather, rubber, nylon/spandex, vinyl, cotton/spandex blends, and vegan "leather" harnesses.

Visit our store or contact us for assistance

If you're in the Milwaukee, WI area, feel free to stop by the Tool Shed, where we can show you the harnesses we carry in person.  If you can't make it in, feel free to email with any specific questions you may have about harnesses, or any of the other items we carry.  We're always happy to help, and we want you to find a harness that serves you well!

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